ENFJ Personality

Secara iseng, gue suka ikut-ikutan test kepribadian di beberapa website test kepribadian gratis. Belakangan, gue coba explore lagi kepribadian gue lewat test kepribadian MBTI di website ini. Overall, ada 16 tipe kepribadian berdasarkan website ini. Diantaranya adalah:

And the result is I'm totally an extrovert one and I really know it haha. Hasil lebih tepatnya adalah ENFJ (Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). Let's see the explanation below!

ENFJ Personality

"Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds." -- David Deida

ENFJs are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. Forming around two percent of the population, they are oftentimes our politicians, our coaches and our teachers, reaching out and inspiring others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence that begets influence, ENFJs take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community.

FIRM BELIEVERS IN THE PEOPLE
People are drawn to strong personalities, and ENFJs radiate authenticity, concern and altruism, unafraid to stand up and speak when they feel something needs to be said. They find it natural and easy to communicate with others, especially in person, and their Intuitive (N) trait helps people with the ENFJ personality type to reach every mind, be it through facts and logic or raw emotion. ENFJs easily see people's motivations and seemingly disconnected events, and are able to bring these ideas together and communicate them as a common goal with an eloquence that is nothing short of mesmerizing.

The interest ENFJs have in others is genuine, almost to a fault - when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person's problems, place too much trust in them. Luckily, this trust tends to be a self-fulfilling prophesy, as ENFJs' altruism and authenticity inspire those they care about to become better themselves. But if they aren't careful, they can overextend their optimism, sometimes pushing others further than they're ready or willing to go.

ENFJs are vulnerable to another snare as well: they have a tremendous capacity for reflecting on and analyzing their own feelings, but if they get too caught up in another person's plight, they can develop a sort of emotional hypochondria, seeing other people's problems in themselves, trying to fix something in themselves that isn't wrong. If they get to a point where they are held back by limitations someone else is experiencing, it can hinder ENFJs' ability to see past the dilemma and be of any help at all. When this happens, it's important for ENFJs to pull back and use that self-reflection to distinguish between what they really feel, and what is a separate issue that needs to be looked at from another perspective. THE STRUGGLE OUGHT NOT TO DETER US FROM THE SUPPORT OF A CAUSE WE BELIEVE TO BE JUST

ENFJs are genuine, caring people who talk the talk and walk the walk, and nothing makes them happier than leading the charge, uniting and motivating their team with infectious enthusiasm.

People with the ENFJ personality type are passionate altruists, sometimes even to a fault, and they are unlikely to be afraid to take the slings and arrows while standing up for the people and ideas they believe in. It is no wonder that many famous ENFJs are US Presidents - this personality type wants to lead the way to a brighter future, whether it's by leading a nation to prosperity, or leading their little league softball team to a hard-fought victory.


ENFJ STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

• ENFJ STRENGTHS

1. Tolerant - ENFJs are true team players, and they recognize that that means listening to other peoples' opinions, even when they contradict their own. They admit they don't have all the answers, and are often receptive to dissent, so long as it remains constructive.
2. Reliable - The one thing that galls ENFJs the most is the idea of letting down a person or cause they believe in. If it's possible, ENFJs can always be counted on to see it through.
3. Charismatic - Charm and popularity are qualities ENFJs have in spades. They instinctively know how to capture an audience, and pick up on mood and motivation in ways that allow them to communicate with reason, emotion, passion, restraint - whatever the situation calls for. Talented imitators, ENFJs are able to shift their tone and manner to reflect the needs of the audience, while still maintaining their own voice.
4. Altruistic - Uniting these qualities is ENFJs' unyielding desire to do good in and for their communities, be it in their own home or the global stage. Warm and selfless, ENFJs genuinely believe that if they can just bring people together, they can do a world of good.
5. Natural Leaders - More than seeking authority themselves, ENFJs often end up in leadership roles at the request of others, cheered on by the many admirers of their strong personality and positive vision.

• ENFJ WEAKNESSES

1. Overly Idealistic - People with the ENFJ personality type can be caught off guard as they find that, through circumstance or nature, or simple misunderstanding, people fight against them and defy the principles they've adopted, however well-intentioned they may be. They are more likely to feel pity for this opposition than anger, and can earn a reputation of naïveté.
2. Too Selfless - ENFJs can bury themselves in their hopeful promises, feeling others' problems as their own and striving hard to meet their word. If they aren't careful, they can spread themselves too thin, and be left unable to help anyone.
3. Too Sensitive - While receptive to criticism, seeing it as a tool for leading a better team, it's easy for ENFJs to take it a little too much to heart. Their sensitivity to others means that ENFJs sometimes feel problems that aren't their own and try to fix things they can't fix, worrying if they are doing enough.
4. Fluctuating Self-Esteem - ENFJs define their self-esteem by whether they are able to live up to their ideals, and sometimes ask for criticism more out of insecurity than out of confidence, always wondering what they could do better. If they fail to meet a goal or to help someone they said they'd help, their self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet.
5. Struggle to Make Tough Decisions - If caught between a rock and a hard place, ENFJs can be stricken with paralysis, imagining all the consequences of their actions, especially if those consequences are humanitarian.

ENFJ RELATIONSHIPS
People who share the ENFJ personality type feel most at home when they are in a relationship, and few types are more eager to establish a loving commitment with their chosen partners. ENFJs take dating and relationships seriously, selecting partners with an eye towards the long haul, rather than the more casual approach that might be expected from some Explorer (SP) types. There's really no greater joy for ENFJs than to help along the goals of someone they care about, and the interweaving of lives that a committed relationship represents is the perfect opportunity to do just that.
I'M A SLOW WALKER, BUT I NEVER WALK BACK.

Even in the dating phase, people with the ENFJ personality type are ready to show their commitment by taking the time and effort to establish themselves as dependable, trustworthy partners.

Their Intuitive (N) trait helps them to keep up with the rapidly shifting moods that are common early in relationships, but ENFJs will still rely on conversations about their mutual feelings, checking the pulse of the relationship by asking how things are, and if there's anything else they can do. While this can help to keep conflict, which ENFJs abhor, to a minimum, they also risk being overbearing or needy - ENFJs should keep in mind that sometimes the only thing that's wrong is being asked what's wrong too often.

ENFJs don't need much to be happy, just to know that their partner is happy, and for their partner to express that happiness through visible affection. Making others' goals come to fruition is often the chiefest concern of ENFJs, and they will spare no effort in helping their partner to live the dream. If they aren't careful though, ENFJs' quest for their partners' satisfaction can leave them neglecting their own needs, and it's important for them to remember to express those needs on occasion, especially early on.
YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TOMORROW BY EVADING IT TODAY

ENFJs' tendency to avoid any kind of conflict, sometimes even sacrificing their own principles to keep the peace, can lead to long-term problems if these efforts never fully resolve the underlying issues that they mask. On the other hand, people with the ENFJ personality type can sometimes be too preemptive in resolving their conflicts, asking for criticisms and suggestions in ways that convey neediness or insecurity. ENFJs invest their emotions wholly in their relationships, and are sometimes so eager to please that it actually undermines the relationship - this can lead to resentment, and even the failure of the relationship. When this happens, ENFJs experience strong senses of guilt and betrayal, as they see all their efforts slip away.

If potential partners appreciate these qualities though, and make an effort themselves to look after the needs of their ENFJ partners, they will enjoy long, happy, passionate relationships. ENFJs are known to be dependable lovers, perhaps more interested in routine and stability than spontaneity in their sex lives, but always dedicated to the selfless satisfaction of their partners. Ultimately, ENFJ personality types believe that the only true happiness is mutual happiness, and that's the stuff successful relationships are made of.

ENFJ FRIENDS
When it comes to friendships, ENFJs are anything but passive. While some personality types may accept the circumstantial highs and lows of friendship, their feelings waxing and waning with the times, ENFJs will put active effort into maintaining these connections, viewing them as substantial and important, not something to let slip away through laziness or inattention.

This philosophy of genuine connection is core to the ENFJ personality type, and while it is visible in the workplace and in romance, it is clearest in the breadth and depth of ENFJ friendships.

ALL MY LIFE I HAVE TRIED TO PLUCK A THISTLE AND PLANT A FLOWER WHEREVER THE FLOWER WOULD GROW...
People with the ENFJ personality type take genuine pleasure in getting to know other people, and have no trouble talking with people of all types and modes of thought. Even in disagreement, other perspectives are fascinating to ENFJs - though like most people, they connect best with individuals who share their principles and ideals, and Diplomats (NF) and Analysts (NT) are best able to explore ENFJs' viewpoints with them, which are simply too idealistic for most. It is with these closest friends that ENFJs will truly open up, keeping their many other connections in a realm of lighthearted but genuine support and encouragement.

Others truly value their ENFJ friends, appreciating the warmth, kindness, and sincere optimism and cheer they bring to the table. ENFJs want to be the best friends possible, and it shows in how they work to find out not just the superficial interests of their friends, but their strengths, passions, hopes and dreams. Nothing makes ENFJs happier than to see the people they care about do well, and they are more than happy to take their own time and energy to help make it happen.
WE SHOULD BE TOO BIG TO TAKE OFFENSE, AND TOO NOBLE TO GIVE IT.

While ENFJs enjoy lending this helping hand, other personality types may simply not have the energy or drive to keep up with it - creating further strain, people with the ENFJ personality type can become offended if their efforts aren't reciprocated when the opportunity arises. Ultimately, ENFJs' give and take can become stifling to types who are more interested in the moment than the future, or who simply have Identities that rest firmly on the Assertive side, making them content with who they are and uninterested in the sort of self-improvement and goal-setting that ENFJs hold so dear.

When this happens ENFJ personalities can be critical, if they believe it necessary. While usually tactful and often helpful, if their friend is already annoyed by ENFJs' attempts to push them forward, it can simply cause them to dig in their heels further. ENFJs should try to avoid taking this personally when it happens, and relax their inflexibility into an occasional "live and let live" attitude.

Ultimately though, ENFJs will find that their excitement and unyielding optimism will yield them many satisfying relationships with people who appreciate and share their vision and authenticity. The joy ENFJs take in moving things forward means that there is always a sense of purpose behind their friendships, creating bonds that are not easily shaken.




Trully ENFJ,
Dewi Lestari Natalia.

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Quote by Audrey Hepburn

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A Lady Worker Daily

I am a worker now, who spend my Monday to Friday in my work activities as an Management Trainee in Japan manufacturing company. We know so well how Japan companies carry out their management, right? So rigid, clumsy, and discipline. First time I joined this company I didn't even sure that I would be a part of this company. But God took me here (until now). Here's the story goes: I am an Engineer, Metallurgy and Materials Engineer. I've studied about metals, steels, minerals, materials, manufacturing, chemical, extraction, corrosion, failure analysis, etc for around 3,5 years. This head off course almost crack and 'berjamur' (I don't know what's the correlation of this two words). On the other hand, I work and learn something which is so far far far far away from this things in my work daily time. I've met so many new things, new challenges, and so many new things that's called 'bukan gue banget' in this Japan company with almost full of Japan's culture authorities.

Within my working months, I have actually done a lot lot lot lot of contemplation. My heart said that I should go back and give 'my Metallurgy Engineer' another try. But sometimes, my brain spoke that I should do my favorite kinds of activity like something art or journalism corner. Besides, I have never stopped loving art and designing, writting, and my inner self wanted to explore that side of me. For this contemplation, I've thought year by year, month by month, day by day, and time by time ago, until now, yeaaaaah I swear. But.... Okay, that's still swimming in the deepest of my heart haha. I have not take my final decision yet.

And here I am as a lady worker (with 'itu-lagi--itu-lagi' activity). My typical day goes like this: wake up at 4 am (if I go to work from my home) or at 5:30 am (if I stay at my rent home-near the office) – catch my driver that leaves at 6 am – arrive work at 6:30 am – leaves the office at 4:30 pm with my driver – arrive home at 5:30 pm – take a breath and bath, then dinner, read or write, chat, and sleep. I tried my best to plug myself away to write or read before bed, because I do love writting and sharing my mind. But it has always brought complications to my job (waking up late, being unproductive, losing focus at work, etc). In short, with a full-time job like this, squeezing an hour or two to write before I go to bed could be back-breaking. Nevertheless, I still write in my blog draft even it has not be posted yet haha because I have not finish them.

I have been having a full-time job for five months now. Because of the experiences, I have realised that I might not be the only person stretching themselves to work in a job that requires full, 5 days x 8 hours (minimum!) of commitment per week; while at the same time, still protect my dreams and find ways to reach them. In terms of managing these activities, I arrange my strategy to do all the things that I love without break my full-time job. Thanks to weekends hehe :). My Monday to Friday activity is my absolute-fix-activity (exclude the night time, maybe I can put something to do there unconditionally). Remember, there are Saturday and Sunday, my free weekends hehe. I take this weekend to do my refreshing activities, like hanging out, shopping, hibernating, meeting the old friends, even writting blog. 

My weekends always full of happiness activities (in order of that, you must make an appointment ahead of very long time to go with me :p). In a day of my weekends, I can go to five to six different destinations or maybe just one destination in a full of day. I'm a high-mobility type of person. I can meet my lovely friends to make a chat until we forget the time, go to wedding party (believe it or not, wedding is my favorite event. It's sweet and touched), go to salon-body spa-hair treatment, spend my family time, heart-to-heart talk, take a gym or sport exercise (jogging, swimming), clean my house, or just silent sit in the cafe and take my laptop writting my blog. 

My so happy weekends activities balance my so smooth weekdays activities. It makes my days more colorful because colors make me happy. I figured out that my daily activities are to spread happiness by creating something that brings smiles to other people's faces. By delivering more colors. By being positive because positivity is contagious. By helping as many people as I can. The point is don't let yourself trapped in to your busy work time, do more of what makes you happy, any days :)

Love my worker daily time,

Dewi Lestari Natalia.

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I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

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Merdeka dari Diri Sendiri

Post ini sebagai refleksi dan rekronstruksi makna kemerdekaan, apalagi pada tanggal 17 Agustus 2014 yang lalu, Indonesia baru saja merayakan hari kemerdekaannya yang ke 69 tahun. Kalau ada yang bilang bahwa rasa nasionalisme benih muda Indonesia zaman ini sudah mulai memudar, hati ini seperti teriris sakitnya. Benih muda yang seharusnya menjadi masa depan bangsa Indonesia, justru malah berkurang nasionalismenya. Penurunan moral bangsa sepertinya berbanding terbalik dengan kemajemukan zaman sekarang ini, zaman yang semakin maju ternyata menghasilkan generasi muda yang semakin cuek dan 'menutup mata' perihal bangsa sendiri. Tapi saya percaya hal ini tidak terjadi pada seluruh bangsa Indonesia, artinya masih ada masyarakat yang peduli terhadap Bangsa Indonesia. Indonesia memang sudah merdeka sejak 69 tahun yang lalu, Indonesia sudah terbebas dari jajahan negara asing yang mencoba menguasai Indonesia seutuhnya. Bagaimana dengan warganya? Apakah sudah terbebas dari penjajahan juga? Apakah sudah merdeka?

Let's see the meaning of 'MERDEKA' based on KBBI:

merdeka /mer·de·ka/ /merdéka/ a 1 bebas (dr perhambaan, penjajahan, dsb); berdiri sendiri: sejak proklamasi tanggal 17 Agustus 1945 itu, bangsa kita sudah --; 2 tidak terkena atau lepas dr tuntutan: -- dr tuntutan penjara seumur hidup; 3 tidak terikat, tidak bergantung kpd orang atau pihak tertentu; leluasa: majalah mingguan --; boleh berbuat dng --;

Merdeka. So, how? 

Tidak harus berkaitan atau berkorelasi dengan bebas dari jajahan untuk suatu negara. Bisa juga direfleksikan pada kehidupan pribadi kita masing-masing. Kalau dibilang rasa nasionalisme bangsa muda sudah tereduksi, coba telaah lebih dalam untuk menemukan alasannya. And according to me, the deepest reason is coming from our deepest heart. Hal ini berhubungan dengan seberapa bebas kah hati kita dari perhambatan, penjajahan, dsb? Seberapa bisa kita untuk berdiri sendiri? Yang membuat kita tidak bisa berdiri sendiri adalah perhambatan dan penjajahan itu sendiri. Lah, katanya tadi Indonesia sudah merdeka dan terlepas dari para penjajah? Tahukah kita, siapa penjajah paling serakah di dunia ini? Penjajah paling serakah adalah diri kita sendiri. Jadi, jika kita berhasil menguasai diri kita dengan baik, kemerdekaan sudah menanti di depan mata kita. Penguasaan diri itu penting sebagai kunci utama cermin hidup kita, tentunya sebagai Bangsa Indonesia. Contohnya pengusaan diri dari segala macam dosa yang bisa menggoda kita kapan saja, dimana saja. 

Secoreh tinta tentang kemerdekaan Bangsa Indonesia sama analoginya dengan penebusan dosa manusia oleh Tuhan Yesus Kristus. Seperti manusia yang telah ditebus dosanya oleh Tuhan Yesus Kristus, manusia sudah merdeka atas dosa-dosanya. Namun, secara terus-menerus manusia tetap saja bisa jatuh ke dalam dosa yang bisa membuat hubungan kita dengan Tuhan semakin jauh (sama analoginya dengan bangsa muda Indonesia yang sudah berkurang rasa nasionalismenya). Paulus berkata dalam Roma 12:2 "Janganlah kamu menjadi serupa dengan dunia ini, tetapi berubahlah oleh pembaharuan budimu, sehingga kamu dapat membedakan manakah kehendak Allah: apa yang baik, yang berkenan kepada Allah dan yang sempurna." Roh kita diperbaharui oleh Tuhan, dan satu lagi, yaitu jiwa yang diperbaharui. Jiwa berbicara tentang pikiran kita, berbicara cara pandang kita dan perasaan kita. Dan ketika kita sudah diperbaharui dan sudah hidup dalam Tuhan, kita harus tetap menjaga kekudusan hidup kita karena Tuhan itu maha kudus. 

Tahun ini akan menjadi tahun yang mengecewakan kalau hati dan pikiran kita masih serupa dengan dunia ini, keadaan dunia makin resah karena adanya berbagai masalah yang menakutkan. Di sana ada perang, di sini ada pembunuhan maka orang yang serupa dengan dunia akan mudah terbawa oleh arus dunia yang menakutkan. Bagaimana bisa menikmati kemerdekaan kalau seperti ini kondisinya? Salah satu cara untuk bisa merdeka atas diri kita sendiri adalah dengan tidak menjadi sama dengan dunia ini. Peran pengendalian diri sangatlah penting dalam hal ini. Pengendalian diri yang baik akan membawa kita tidak menjadi sama dengan dunia ini beserta dengan gaya hidupnya yang semakin lama semakin membawa diri kita kepada reduksi moral. Dengan begitu kita bisa merdeka dari diri sendiri. Kalau orang dunia berkata bahwa tahun ini susah, jangan Saudara berkata ‘susah’. Perkataan yang pesimis bukanlah bahasa kita. Apa yang dikatakan oleh Firman Allah? “Dia akan memelihara engkau!” (Mazmur 55:23)

Selamat berjuang Bangsa Indonesia! Selamat berjuang untuk bisa merdeka dari diri kita masing-masing! Karena penjajah yang paling berbahaya adalah diri kita sendiri, tentu saja jika kita tidak dapat mengendalikannya dengan baik. 

Merdeka!!!
Dewi Lestari Natalia.

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Brother Zone is A War Zone (Really?)

Istilah 'something zone' sekarang lagi ngetren banget di kalangan kawula muda sekitar. Contohnya saja seperti: friend zone, brother zone, sister zone, driver zone, and so on. Kaitannya pasti dengan cinta yang tak terbalaskan atau cinta yang bertepuk sebelah tangan. Let's be focus on brother zone. The reason why I choose this topic for this post is karena gue sendiri mengalami hal ini (curhat session is starting) hahaha. Just for sharing siapa tau ada yang punya pengalaman sama dengan gue.

Berawal dari menonton ulang film One Day yang diperankan oleh si cantik Anne Hathaway as Emma and Jim Sturgess as Dexter. Dexter and Emma are shown each year on the same date to see where they are in their lives. They are sometimes together, sometimes not, on that day. Berlatar Skotlandia era 1980’an film ini begitu manis untuk di tonton. We just friend. Ouccchhh…. Pernah mengalaminya? It's not different with 'We're like a brother-sister relationship', 'I regard you as my brother (or sister)', 'I love him (or her) but he (or she) love the other girl (or boy)', yah something like that lah kira-kira. For some people, brother (or friend) zone is like a war zone between expectation and reality, menyakitkan tapi terkadang menyenangkan terjebak di dalamnya. How do you think about the real function of a special relationship for itself? Is it just for your fun? Apakah hanya untuk ada penghibur hati yang meramaikan handphone dan ngajak makan? Atau memang untuk final destination for our spouse soon to be?

As a girl, it's not easy to express our true feeling about a boy. But, sometimes boy do the same thing. So, who should be the first one who express their feeling? Girl? Boy? Both of them, yeah siapa pun bisa menyatakan perasaannya duluan. Dan saat keduanya ragu untuk menyatakan perasaannya di tengah hubungan yang semakin nyaman satu sama lain, jeng jeng jeng welcome to the war zone!! Selamat datang di zona perang perasaan satu sama lain! Alasan utama kenapa gue nulis post ini sebenernya pure untuk curhat karena gue sudah lelah dengan hubungan aneh seperti brother zone ini. Sebab realitanya bukan hanya gue yang terjangkit virus aneh macam ini, some of my friends have the same condition, too. Muak banget gak tuh? But, thank God sekarang gue sudah mulai bisa move on haha karena gue sadar hubungan aneh seperti ini gak membawa truly goal dalam visi hidup gue. Toh, dia hanya menganggap gue sebagai his best-good-listener-and-advice-giver-sister atau his best partner in crime. And so do I, iyuuuuuh jadi curhat haha. But I really enjoy this relationship untuk beda persepsi, bukan lagi untuk ngarep jadi pasangan hidup tapi benar-benar menganggapnya sebagai best partner,  best adviser, and well best big brother. Brother zone dan sejenisnya akan menjadi big war jika kita terus-menerus memaksakan dan berharap apa yang tidak bisa kita dapatkan. Tapi ketika kita menjadikan itu sebagai hubungan yang dapat membangun satu sama lain, why not? Toh, ini tidak jauh berbeda dengan hubungan persahabatan. 

Saran gue sih sebaiknya hindari diri kita dari hal-hal yang seperti ini. Fokus terhadap tujuan hidup kita agar kita tidak mudah terjebak dalam zona-zona aneh yang sedang booming di zaman ini. Mengingat usia yang beranjak tua, mulai terdengar potongan-potongan celetukan menggelitik tentang pasangan hidup. Di kenalin sana sini, jadi objek ceng-cengan, balada kisah tanya kabar teman lama, sampai ditanya pertanyaan membosankan 'Mana pacarnya sekarang?'. Hanya beberapa orang yang tahu tentang kisah cinta mengenaskan yang gue alami haha. I keep it as a secret, it's about privacy dan harga diri (bukan hal yang mudah untuk orang ekstrovert seperti gue untuk menyembunyikan hal-hal semacam ini dari orang-orang sekitar gue). Sedih dan mengenaskannya adalah ketika semakin gue tau the true meaning of a relationship, semakin mengenaskan pengalaman yang gue dapat, tentooong.... But I make it for live learning karena hidup ini tidak hanya berjalan begitu saja namun ada pembelajaran di dalamnya. Post ini sebagai tanda kecil how I respect a relationship.

"Best relationship: talk like best friends, argue like husband and wife, play like children, and protect each other like brother and sister"

PS:
Thank you for all the times, distance, advice, share. It's not a simply decision. We need some kinds of maturity to make clear all of this  weird things. Welcome to the my single-pure (without any brother, friend, or anything else) zone!!!




I am single and very happy,
Dewi Lestari Natalia.

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